Motivate Monday: Don't be Predictable with Your Outfit
It’s all quite simple. Dress for the occasion. If you’re going to the gym then wear activewear. Likewise, if you’re going on a first date don’t wear what you would wear to a business meeting! I remember back in middle school when people would classify one another as “preppy” or “sporty”. The assumption meaning that no matter where that person would go — they would dress that part.
In actuality, it’s becomes more about what outfit can you wear (for that occasion) that makes you feel the most comfortable. By comfort, I’m referring to putting together an outfit based on your personality rather than sweatpants 24/7.
Don’t be predictable with your clothing choices. No one should be able to predict your outfit. Personally, some days I feel like wearing sweatpants and other days I rock a summer dress. It’s all based on my mood (and the weather).
Friends should not be *shocked* when you wear sweat pants because all they’ve ever seen you wear is a pencil skirt and a blazer. There’s a time and place for every piece of clothing. And, remember to dress your age. When else are you going to wear that crop top and high waisted shorts? If you don’t dress your age now — you’ll miss out on all of the amazing trends you could try!
Right now is when you must experiment with styles, patterns and prints. You won’t be able to do that in 10 years. Rock that high waisted skirt. Wear those wedges. You are beautiful, embrace that!
Wise Wednesday: Is There a Hierarchy to Friendships?
Take a step back and think about your life 3 months ago. Now think about it 2 years ago. Did you have different friends? Friends whom you believed to be your “bestest” friends? How is that as time goes by we find new friends to replace our old friends?
This turns out to be a constant cycle. We find ourselves bonding with people during school or at work because we need their friendship. We understand that if we have a friend in the class, then time will pass much faster. There’s more opportunity for us to be late or sick and obtain the notes we missed. Similarly, at work, we want to be comfortable and look forward to each day with someone to gossip with during lunch.
However, these relationships often fade because once you take out the key similarity of being in the same class or sharing the same office there isn’t much that the two of you have in common. It was simply convenient for you to be friends.
Not to worry, it’s not that you are a bad friend or that you don’t find the other person to be interesting. People just move on with their lives. And, if your paths do not intercept (and unless one of you insists on hanging out), it is unlikely that you will maintain the same bond.
I do believe there is a hierarchy to friendships which can be determined by how you act when you are around a person that you have not seen for two months, or even three years. I recently had the pleasure of seeing a good guy friend whom I see once or twice a year, where when we talk it is as if we are still in high school together. I consider him to be one of my best friends because I can be myself without thinking that there is something I need to prove to him.
I find that the people whom you meet that are your “temporary best friends” end up hurting you the most because either you believe that there is more to the friendship or they do. But don’t worry, there’s a lot you can learn from these broken friendships.
It is oftentimes during the hardest points in your life when your true friends will be there for you. It’s common sense that people will be around you when things are going well in your life, but not everyone can handle a crisis. And, it’s not about how long you’ve known someone either. You can feel when someone is true to you or when a friend cares for you.
Understandably, It’s tough to let friendships go, but sometimes certain friendships do more harm than good. There should be no reason why a friend tries to pick a fight, or why they never plan something with you. Friends should go out of their way to motivate you, and to tell you to never give up.
I’ve only ever had a handful of friends who have truly pushed me to my limit and believed in me when I was at my weakest point. A friend doesn’t need to be someone who wears the same handbag as you or loves to get drunk. It’s someone that would give you 110% of their attention and find a way to cheer you up.
If your current friends can’t handle a twentysomething year old problem that you have — how will they be able to help you through a financial crisis, a marriage, a child, a divorce or even a death?
“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
So just as you wouldn’t spend your time on an awful relationship… don’t spend it on an even worse friendship.
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“Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course… We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night, and we watch television.”—Paul Hawken
Motivate Monday: How to Get Back On (the Financial) Track
If you thought it was difficult to stick to your “budget” throughout the academic year — wait until you see your summer bill statements. There is nothing worse than being invited to a pool party and thinking, “I have nothing to wear. I need a new bikini, a new beach bag, new sunglasses” etc.
So, how does a twenty-something year old get back on his/her financial track? Well, you do it by sitting down and tracking how you spent your past month’s income. Trust me, if you aren’t saving a portion of your money this will definitely come as a shock.
Everyone’s money situation is different and it is difficult to generalize how one should behave with money. The key here is that if you were to become unemployed for a month or even six months — could you sustain your current lifestyle? Probably not. Could you afford that $12 glass of amaretto sour without a) feeling guilty or b) sacrificing something else?
We work to make money so that we can enjoy “luxurious items” — but you need to limit yourself. For example, I enjoy going out to eat and that is what I love to spend money on. Therefore, a large chunk of my “short-term savings” will go towards this luxury.
Ideally, if you can pick one or two activities that bring you the most happiness — then you can look towards cutting the cost in other categories that you don’t deem to be as important.
Since you are still so young, understand that you can’t have everything you desire. It’s nearly impossible, especially if you work part-time or full-time seasonally. By setting limits for yourself, you will be able to reach your goals by setting aside money for savings and investments (10% of every pay cheque).
If you find it extremely difficult to picture yourself storing 10% of your income away, then you may need to reconsider your relationship with money. Set up an automatic payment which instantly takes away 10% of your income as soon as it is deposited to your chequing account.
Do everything you can by saving for the future, and most importantly, make your money work for you.
“I don’t feel the same when he texts and calls me. It’s kind of just like anybody else. My heart doesn’t skip a beat anymore, and my body’s not shaking. My palms aren’t sweaty, and I can speak clearly. I think I’m really moving on.”—TBT - (via swallow-the-truth)
“Learn to be quiet You need not do anything. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, just wait. You need not even wait, just learn to be quiet, still and solitary. And the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked. It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”—Franz Kafka (via swallow-the-truth) #TBT
“This is life, new and strange; strange, because we fear it; new, because we have kept our eyes turned from it. Men are men and life is life, and we must deal with them as they are; and if we want to change them, we must deal with them in the form in which they exist.”—Richard Wright
“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.”—Maya Angelou
“The greatest fear people have is that of being themselves. They want to be 50 Cent or someone else. They do what everyone else does even if it doesn’t fit where and who they are. But you get nowhere that way; your energy is weak and no one pays attention to you. You’re running away from the one thing that you own—what makes you different. I lost that fear. And once I felt the power that I had by showing the world I didn’t care about being like other people, I could never go back.”—50 Cent
“Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse, and even your kids. Even if it’s a bit edgy, a bit out of your comfort zone, saying yes means you will do something new, meet someone new, and make a difference.”—Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google